I've been holding back tears all day. Thinking kills me, my brain never stops. I didn't go to sleep until nearly 10 this morning, only to wake up 5 hours later. I'm dying without him, without knowing how he is or what he's thinking...without him knowing.

It's hard with him being away with little net access. We've been apart for about 2 months, so you'd think I'd be used to it, but I'm not. So I wake up every morning to check my e-mail, awaiting the one trivial thing that could make or break my emotional state. And it's not there today, but maybe tomorrow. I just want to know right now. I think I deserve that, and even if I don't, I want it.

Fucking sock it to me.